called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
