Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
