ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
