the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
