Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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