You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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