apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
