your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
