guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
