youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish i was in the wii world.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize