I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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