If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize