I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
whose parrot is this?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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