you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
