So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
