You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
