the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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