I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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