wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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