Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
