I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize