Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's shark week go big or go home
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
