if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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