remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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