went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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