i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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