Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
