giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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