This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
