i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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