I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
