Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
