That's intense
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
