I heard we made out
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
