oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
