id be glad to
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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