Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
