when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
