garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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