He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
