You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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