someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
