So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
