She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
