We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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