You made me cry and you don't even care
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
