While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
