i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
