he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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