What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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