so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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