I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
