He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
