Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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