I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
