do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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