his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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