I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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