I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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