Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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