Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
