Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
