Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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