i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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