Can Purell be used as lube?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
