Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
