yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you made out with another girl for some wings
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize