addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
