3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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