Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
