Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
