I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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