strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we're making bets on your personal life
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
