there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
