You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
