Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
