They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
