So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
