Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize